This webpage contains additional resources for those looking to build skills to help manage conflict.
The video describes our brain's fight or flight response and provides constructive tools to help stay engaged and present during conflict.
The "fight or flight response" is our body's automatic and primitive, inborn response that prepares the body to "fight" or "flee" from perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival. Sometimes, though, we perceive threat or harm when in reality, things are totally fine. This video (approx. 3 minutes) explains how FFF-responses work, what it does to our body and mind, and how to deal with it.
Dr. Jeremy Pollack is a social psychologist and conflict resolution consultant focusing on the psychology, social dynamics, and peacebuilding methodologies of interpersonal and intergroup conflicts.
Getting out of autopilot means making a more deliberate choice about our communication strategy. If we can think about different ways to communicate, we will better able to move out of an automatic reaction and make a conscious choice about the best strategy.
When considering how to engage in emotional self-regulation, it is crucial to first recognize our triggers. As the video details, we can learn to remain calm by focusing on our breath, being mindful of our speech, and engaging in cognitive reframing.
Staying curious is a great way to mitigate potential conflicts in situations in your life. Curiosity is an open mindset where you can understand the other party’s perspective better. By staying curious, we get to understand someone better, and when we understand someone, we can create better approaches to resolving conflict.
Acknowledging your impact is an incredibly important part of conflict resolution, especially when attempting to reconcile something that happened in the past. Often, when someone has an issue with something we have done, we like to immediately find solutions to resolve the conflict. But it is important that before coming up with a solution for the future, we first recognize the impact that our actions had on the other person.
Simon Sinek shares the importance of learning the skills set to handling confrontation. Sinek states that it's not a "soft skill" but a "human skill."
Director of the American negotiation Institute, Kwame teaches us about an alternative way to resolve conflict. The video (approx. 11 minutes), discusses a concept called "compassionate curiosity" which helps us build trust and respect.
In the theater, conflict is good, it makes for compelling drama. But in real life, conflict is generally something harmful. Fightmaster and certified conflict resolution trainer David S. Leong explains (approx. 13 minutes) that the same tools that make for a successful stage or screen fight can be used to minimize conflicts in real life. Trigger Warning: A few stage fight scenes are displayed that mimic DV situations.
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